August 5, 2009

ideas ideas ideas...I'm getting run over with them...

I'm not producing a whole lot, but I'm getting ideas everyday. Some are complex projects that have been taking some thinking and research, others I've figured out in a snap. Alas, my feelings of responsibility weigh on me...tthhhbbbttt...yes I just blew a raspberry...I feel like I have to take care of house and home before throwing myself head first in to creating. With good reason. I don't multitask. I can't do two things at once. I have a sister who recently told me she had come to terms with the realisation that she doesn't feel productive unless she has no less than 7 projects at once. Which absolutely horrifies me. And that's when I realised, I don't feel productive unless I finish something before starting something new. And I've spent the last few years trying my best to multitask my life. No wonder I'm constantly cycling between confused depression and unwarranted feelings of failure. I'm not finishing anything(in a timely manner) so I don't feel productive. I don't feel that I'm giving anything my best, because I'm giving so much to so many different things, so everything I do feels mediocre. Hence, the waiting and planning. I want my family and home to always be my first priority. So, I'm obliged to get several projects out of the way before starting something new. We've lived in our house fro 6 years, and never really thrown anything out. Which amounts to lots of clutter. So I'm purging. And then I'm re-arranging. I've finished purging, and I've rearranged every area except the garage and attic. That's where all the "stuff" has been deposited. "Stuff" we don't want/need, but is in to good of shape to simply be thrown out. So the decision needs to be made-garage sale, or salvation army? Meanwhile, I'm bursting at the seams, wanting to sit down and sew away, but I've purposely left my sewing area a complete disaster, so as to motivate me into finishing all this before I consider doing something new. Ugh. I can hear my sewing machine calling to I miss it! Still, Happy Thoughts!

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